This drawing took about 2 hours to execute. It’s a nice reminder for me. It’s yet another tangible example of how immediate drawing is. In this case, the immediate “action” of drawing. I didn’t have a plan, idea or concept to work from. I simply wanted to draw. My focus was on the subject and thought of drawing. Sometimes we have to get out of our own way and just let our unconscious express itself. More often than not, it is the unconscious that is trying to get our attention. It has something important to share, but often, we dismiss it, or second guess it. Why? I am really enjoying this drawing. I’m also enjoying getting out of my own way again. In reflection, the drawing has induced an old series of memories. For years I had fought a love hate relationship of being perceived as an ” illustrator.” Especially back when I was in undergraduate college. I cant image why I would create such a limiting belief back then? But at the time, I was younger and insecure as the competition back then seemed intense. I used to confuse infinite creativity as competition. Pretty funny to think about that now, but at the time it seemed real. I always wanted to be known simply as an artist, I never wanted a specialty, or an artistic title, and I still don’t. I know better now of course, perceived titles are little boxes we create for ourselves. We can hang out in them for a while and learn something ( which is a good healthy thing when we GET the lesson ) or we can linger there forever thinking the outside world has held us in there…ouch. This unconscious drawing tells me that I still want to work from my imagination more often. I’m repressing desires, unexplored content, and subject matter. I’m going to let go of my familiar rules when contemplating a body of new works. I seem to have a desire to create more fictional characters, compose them into unrealistic situations, and also revisit some of my old techniques. I’m excited and grateful to be a part of the process. Sharing it seems to also help.
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