I’m a late bloomer, always have been, it’s not a bad thing. I have learned on my journey (many times, the hard way) sometimes there is simply a “timing” to all things beyond our control. No matter how hard we work on it or how much we attempt to manifest. Timing plays a role beyond us. There is a bigger picture. It’s beyond our insistent earthly timelines. Our higher-self knows it, but our ego is utterly impatient and resistant. I am finally arriving now. The “timing” light switch was flipped on. (Ill share this story one day at the right “time” too) I’m making site on scene adjustments in real-time by publicly self-identifying with my oldest title, “Deaf and hard of hearing.” This title is old to me because I have had it for my whole life, but it wasn’t always this way for those I met and connected with. In fact, in almost all cases, I never mentioned it at all. However, this new title announcement can come as a big surprise to many of the people around you. This includes, friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances and the many people from one’s past that may come back into your life. I have a lot of questions to answer, especially to myself, and I’m doing it. I understand that some people will be supportive just as I knew, some may not, and some won’t react and care either way. This is the reality that should not stop or immobilize me or anyone else doing this kind of self-intervening. I am sensitive to this and can place myself in the shoes of those on the receiving end.
When I tell people that I am deaf and hard of hearing, I think it makes them more confused about what I actually mean. I need to communicate more clearly and honestly. Asking people to be patient is OK. Asking people to listen, slow down their speech and make eye contact is OK. I need more than one or two sentences to explain this properly as well. I say this because it’s helpful to get an interpretation and definition back from each person. I’m guilty of not asking people for what I need in terms of communication. As a result, it has hurt me and held me back in a lot of ways. I am responsible for this, me and only me. I am moving on though, and forward, proudly forward. In most cases, (certainly not all) when I do ask this, there is really not any quick change in the communication between myself and the other. One conversation will not make changes happen overnight. It will take time and a series of reminders, along with other forms of actions and display. Again, this is my responsibility moving forward. Some people may never change and completely understand. Is it easier to say nothing at all? Yes, but that is a complete disservice to myself and the Deaf and hard of hearing community I am a part of. Human Awareness is a huge energy but it can be useless if it is not asserted and allocated with pride, conviction and a clear purpose. Thankfully I can apply this now. If I can help you on your journey, reach out. The art works below are a continuation of this series. What does it look like to be deaf and hard of hearing if the various communication scenarios were converted into a series of static and looping moving visual images?
2018, Digital Illustrations, Digital Art, Animated GIFs & Video. A continued series of manipulated electronic images and re-compositions. The many fragments and variations of each piece are visual representations for the missing of sounds, words and overall communication gaps I experience. They are intended to be both subtle, confusing and difficult to follow. A representation of the daily life I experience between the world of the hearing and the non.
Please check out my New Online Exhibition –> Communicating my Deaf & Hard of Hearing Self – Part 1
